I’ve decided to become more proactive in my job search and consequently I came up with an idea for a specialized enterprise. The following letter is addressed to a chief executive officer who will remain anonymous. Hopefully he responds favorably to my inquiry. Wish me luck…
Instead of hiring a bevy of incompetent interns with the sole intention of having them fetch you coffee, you can instead hire our team of trained professional coffee bitches.
Not only will our staff put up with your condescending remarks, but we will ensure that your entire office is wired without burdening you with questions regarding the functionality of your copy machine.
If a double ristretto triple venti nonfat organic cinnamon dolche latte chocolate brownie frapuccino extra hot foam whipped double cream upside down triple blend I’m a pretentious dickwad is your beverage of choice, we will make it happen. And don’t forget the lemon loaf.
It is most certain that the costs of hiring a paid intern (both in time spent training him/her and in salary) are far more than the costs of hiring our team of professional coffee bitches to drop by once or twice a day.
Thanking you in advance for your consideration,