The objective here is simple: Find a damn job.
Yet, I keep filling out forms that list “student” as an occupation. So, either I’m being constantly deceived or I actually have had a job for years and live in oblivion.
Assuming the latter is true, I did some research and found a couple of excellent job descriptions for what I do as a student:
“Read things that don’t matter, then write papers saying they do matter, for points that don’t matter, in order to get a job doing something totally unrelated.”
“Copy and paste the internet.”
While those tidbits are scarily accurate depictions of the average college student and undoubtedly a better summation than I can provide, I would also add:
“Laptop in class. Facebook. Blog. Raise head when professor stops talking. Drink beer regularly. Call mom once a week to let her know I’m alive. Wikipedia.”
Being a student is a sweet job, so why give it up?
Sure, Van Wilder was eventually cut off and I know I will be too. But, maybe the answer to the question, “what am I going to do after college?” is more college. Forever!
I suppose Graduate School is the place to start. I’ve been told that Grad School is intended to prepare you for what’s next. But, along with being incredibly vague, all that sounds like is exactly the same thing I’ve been hearing throughout high school and college. Come to think of it, what isn’t intended to prepare us for what’s next? Your parents wipe your ass in hopes that one day you’ll be able to wipe their grandkids’ ass. That’s called progress.
Perhaps procrastinating on finding a so-called real job in the real world by applying to Grad School is not the ideal route, especially if my GPA is as unimpressive as my writing. So, while the rest of my mid-20 something friends are working for Google, I’ll be providing alcohol to minors. But, like anything else, it has its pros and its cons…
- Avoid the 9-5.
- I still won’t make any money. How many more years can I stay on the payroll?
- Chicks dig an educated dude. If I can fool them into believing I am one, I’m set.
- I wonder, because those who have been there say Grad School is nowhere near as much fun, nor do you feel as much attachment. Understandably so. But, is it worth doing anyway? I guess if I’m destined to be an ostrich babysitter, I might as well get on with it already.