Job #7 – Erection Engineer

And the winner of most unfortunate job title ever is…

I don’t think I’m going to seriously entertain becoming an erection engineer, but I will use this job for a purpose. I’ve been wanting to experiment a little to see if I can make the blog more interactive, so here goes one idea:

In the spirit of sophomoric humor, let’s play Count the Unintentional Sexual Innuendos In This Job Description.

The rules:

  1. In the comments section below, tell us how many unintentional sexual innuendos you can find – You can either say the total number, or you can list them out/highlight your favorites. Of course, the latter makes for better discussion and more laughs, but I’m not overly picky.
  2. Let’s omit the title of the job, the section titles and the repeated phrase, “Erection Engineer” to make sure we’re all on the same page.
Here is where I found the description below. Have at it.

***

Overview:

Erection engineers are often invaluable individuals behind the scenes at major erection projects. An erection engineer oversees the major components of an erection, including budgetary concerns, time management, supply cycles, and safety regulations. Though erection engineers have specific duties, the job can encompass a wide variety of functions at an erection site.

Cost Estimation For Erection:

The erection engineer is responsible for providing a cost estimation of the total erection, from start to finish, to the contractor. Erection engineers must also determine the costs of all personnel involved in executing the erection.

Enforcing Safety During the Erection:

Erection engineers are accountable for creating an atmosphere of safety at the work site. Rules and regulations must be understood by all erection employees, and continually implemented during building. An erection engineer can be held accountable for significant workplace mishaps, even if the accident is not directly the fault of the engineer.

Supervising the Erection:

An erection must be finished in a timely manner, or by a specific date, for a variety of reasons. There are often incentives for finishing erections early or on time, including contractor bonuses. The erection engineer makes certain that the erection hits set goals on time throughout the project. In addition to time concerns, the erection engineer must monitor supply levels to ensure that the project does not run out of critical erection components. For example, an exhausted supply of wood could delay an erection for hours or days, which could directly effect the completion date.

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14 responses to “Job #7 – Erection Engineer

  • Garrett

    I caught 12, but a couple could be tied together to make one big innuendo.

    My favorite was “exhausted supply of wood could delay an erection.”

    Followed closely by “An erection must be finished in a timely manner.”

  • Ben Myers

    -There are often incentives for finishing erections early or on time.

    -Erection engineers must also determine the costs of all personnel involved in executing the erection.

    -For example, an exhausted supply of wood could delay an erection for hours or days, which could directly effect the completion date.

  • Tom

    I suppose this is subjective, but I have as many as 29, which means my mind is more than twice as dirty as Garrett’s.

  • Erin

    “An erection engineer can be held accountable for significant workplace mishaps, even if the accident is not directly the fault of the engineer.”

    ummm mishaps? i don’t even want to know… hahaha

  • Kortnee

    “An erection engineer oversees the major components of an erection, including budgetary concerns, time management, supply cycles, and safety regulations.” I started laughing too hard after I read this to keep a strict count, but in essence the whole thing (much like my mother) just screamed “boners!”. It also reminded me of the last skit in Woody Allen’s Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About Sex But Were Afraid To Ask, which I recommend everyone go watch on YouTube.

  • daniellery

    This is brilliant. I tried to count, but lost track. I tried to pick one favorite line, but there are just too many. Two of the best lines:

    “Though erection engineers have specific duties, the job can encompass a wide variety of functions…”

    “The erection engineer makes certain that the erection hits set goals on time throughout the project.”

  • Joseph Barton

    i counted 13 but everytime they said erection i giggled

  • Deeone

    I don’t know whether to blush or literally laugh my butt off. :D Great post Tom.

    I counted 20 Innuendos. And let’s see, I have so many favorites… but I’ll narrow it down to the top three.

    – “The erection engineer is responsible for providing a cost estimation of the total erection, from start to finish…” Priceless!

    – “Enforcing Safety During the Erection:” Safety is always first. ;)

    – “An erection must be finished in a timely manner, or by a specific date, for a variety of reasons.” Just because. :D

    Too funny!! :D

    • Tom

      Deeone,

      Thanks for the comment. As I said earlier in the thread, the amount of innuendos is totally subjective. When I stretch it as much as I possibly can I come up with 29 – granted, my mind is dirty.

      Makes you wonder though, was whoever wrote this just messing with us? It’s almost too good to be by accident.

      • Deeone

        I totally concur, nonetheless, it’s really good…I can imagine interviewing for the position and messing with the employer.

        “OK, I’m ready for my erection.” I’d say.

        “Deeone, Put that away! That’s not the type of erection we had in mind.”

        “Hmm, Oh. Sorry”(Blushing)

        Yeah, my mind is pretty dirty as well. ;) That’s probably why I’m up there in the number of innuendos found. :D

  • A Kreative Blogger in the Heart of Georgia « The Kingskidd Report

    […] there now, you may be able to see one of my favorite post before he updates a few more, titled Erection Engineer. […]

  • A Kreative Blogger in the Heart of Georgia » Kingskidd Chronicles: The Cultivations and Directions of my Life

    […] there now, you may be able to see one of my favorite post before he updates a few more, titled Erection Engineer. […]

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