Would You Rather?

I love a good poll.

That said, let’s play a little game of Would You Rather? Below are descriptions of Job #13 & #14 on my search: They’re both really dirty and therefore I urge you to vote regarding…

  1. Would You Rather?Which job would you choose if given no other alternative?
  2. What Would You Rather See Me Do?Which job would you force me to do? What would humiliate me most?


Job #13 – Male Specimen Courier

Last night I googled “I need semen delivered to my house” – you know, curiosity. Anyway, what I found was a pretty exciting career.

Basically, an MSC is the 3rd party in a consummation between total strangers. Your job is to find some frozen semen (easy enough), seal it up in presumably some tupperware, and then deliver it to a random woman or couple.

Then, you stand awkwardly in the doorway and hand the lovely lady a turkey baster, along with instructions to defrost. You’ll be an upstanding service-oriented giver of joy.

Job #14 – Livestock Masturbator

Speaking of funky spunk, have you guys ever heard of a Livestock Masturbator?

Basically, this is the fortunate soul responsible for …ahemdoing the dirty work… for an animal. Then it’s strictly procedure – freeze it, store it, defrost it, stick it in ‘ol Bessy.


Now you must vote!


6 responses to “Would You Rather?

  • johnnathanielfernando

    haha very nice poll you got going there! wait, is the pay good on those jobs because i’ll do anything if the pay is right!

  • Deeone

    OK Tom, that was a trick question, right?! I would definitely rather be a courier… I mean is there really someone out there jacking a cow. I don’t know it that’s just weird or gross… nor do I know if I’d stay there and watch the show. At least with being a courier, if I trip and spill the stuff I can dip in a corner and make more jizz (That might be TMI). But with a livestock masturbator, I can’t even get pass the thought! LOL Nor would I subject you to that… Ewww! :D

  • ratty

    Deeone – Jacking a cow?

    Take my advice and stick with the Courier’s job.

  • NobblySan

    ‘I love a good poll’?

    Sorry, but given the content of the rest of the post, I misread that as ‘I love a good pull’.

    Thanks for your comment on the MadHatters, by the way. It’s always good to see new people.

  • What I’ve Learned So Far… « What Am I Going To Do After College?

    […] recently, I learned that my fan enjoys the idea of me pleasing cows and that if given no other choice, my fan would prefer to deliver frozen man juice to lovely ladies […]

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