Category Archives: Would You Rather?

Would You Rather? Pt. 2 (Job #17, #18)

Job #17 – Telemarketer For A Cemetery

A cemetery telemarketer is responsible for calling people to ask if you and your relatives are planning on dying any time soon. If the answer is yes, a cemetery telemarketer can make reservations for a nice spot in the ground.

Job #18 – Gum Buster

A gum buster uses “steaming technology” to remove gum from sidewalks. This gum may be decades old.

Vote!

I would personally vote for cemetery telemarketer because the absurdity of saying something like, “I’m with the Mortuary, are you interested in 20% off of your next burial?” is too good to pass up.

What do you guys think?


Would You Rather?

I love a good poll.

That said, let’s play a little game of Would You Rather? Below are descriptions of Job #13 & #14 on my search: They’re both really dirty and therefore I urge you to vote regarding…

  1. Would You Rather?Which job would you choose if given no other alternative?
  2. What Would You Rather See Me Do?Which job would you force me to do? What would humiliate me most?

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Job #13 – Male Specimen Courier

Last night I googled “I need semen delivered to my house” – you know, curiosity. Anyway, what I found was a pretty exciting career.

Basically, an MSC is the 3rd party in a consummation between total strangers. Your job is to find some frozen semen (easy enough), seal it up in presumably some tupperware, and then deliver it to a random woman or couple.

Then, you stand awkwardly in the doorway and hand the lovely lady a turkey baster, along with instructions to defrost. You’ll be an upstanding service-oriented giver of joy.

Job #14 – Livestock Masturbator

Speaking of funky spunk, have you guys ever heard of a Livestock Masturbator?

Basically, this is the fortunate soul responsible for …ahemdoing the dirty work… for an animal. Then it’s strictly procedure – freeze it, store it, defrost it, stick it in ‘ol Bessy.

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Now you must vote!